


Lights Will Guide You Home

by vixxeu



Category: VIXX
Genre: Hurt/Comfort, Light Angst, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-03-14
Updated: 2018-03-14
Packaged: 2019-03-31 08:13:17
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,210
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13970964
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/vixxeu/pseuds/vixxeu
Summary: Taekwoon invites himself to the home that Hakyeon built in his loneliness





	Lights Will Guide You Home

**Author's Note:**

> Written for a friend who has been having a hard time recently, I hope my words will be able to bring warmth to you.

Cha Hakyeon finds comfort in the darkness. He lays on his bed, hand draped over his forehead. The curtains are shut, and only a minimal amount of light from the sunset is able to enter. It’s barely 7pm, but he feels tired already- or rather, he’s been sleep deprived the past few weeks. His free time has finally come, and he’s glad to dive into a full blown slump.

He puts a hand up in the direction of where the gold light spills into the room, fascinated by the hyper-awareness of his surroundings. It’s almost beautiful he thinks, but the stench of loneliness reeks and he drops his hand back onto the bed. 

He’s unsure if he has it all, but Hakyeon is certain that he’s still lonely at the age of 28. He starts to worry, whether he will be able to find his match who’d lay with him like this, that will embrace his sadness and inhibitions.

A yawn surfaces, tears of fatigue rolling down his temple and disappearing into his hair. His favourite pillow feels oddly uncomfortable, maybe because his heart yearns for it to be a sturdy shoulder holding him up. The sticky trail left behind by his tears begs too, for a strong hand to wipe it away. This void in his being slowly overtakes him as the days go by – as evidently shown in his desperation for someone to lean on - and it almost drives him insane.

At the end of a day, Hakyeon wishes for company, not to sleep alone until his back aches.

-

There is no answer to why is he like this, and he wishes so much for one. He can’t find the explanation behind his unwanted tears, his unsatisfactory life and the increasing anxiety that he feels palpating in his heart. The ride home is arduous, his thoughts teasing him relentlessly. Any remaining energy he has left is drained, and he yearns to just head home.

No one is there to greet him, but he lets out a sigh of relief when he finally gets to take his shoes off at the doorstep.

The apartment is dark, indicating the members have gone to bed. He shrugs off the disappointment that’s blooming across his chest, murmuring excuses to soothe himself that he’ll kill the boys anyway if they have the audacity to be awake when the luxury of sleep is in their hands. He trudges towards his bedroom, and oddly, light is seeping through the gap between the door and the floor.

“How many times have I told Jaehwan to turn off the lights when he borrows stuff….” He mutters and turns the doorknob around, but what he sees sitting on his bed isn’t something that he expected. Hakyeon blinks in shock, and then looks again at the figure with a puzzled expression.

“It’s me, hyung.”

Taekwoon is perched on Hakyeon’s bed, sporting a pair of grey sweatpants matched with a black tank top- a clear reminder that he should be sleeping, not here spooking his leader out.

“Oh, Taekwoon,” Hakyeon says, a dumbfounded expression written on his face. He throws his coat onto a nearby desk, and he scratches his head awkwardly, not quite comprehending the fact that Jung Taekwoon is in his room at three in the morning while everyone else is sound asleep.

“Mm,” Taekwoon nods.

The pause gets a bit uncomfortable, and Hakyeon decides to ask the obvious. “Were you waiting for me?” he asks, tone incredulous to dim down the stupidity of his question. Taekwoon doesn’t answer, but merely pats the spot beside him as a warm invitation for Hakyeon to take a seat.

“You’ve been looking tired recently,” Taekwoon whispers, as if he was afraid Hakyeon may just crack under the weight of validation.

(Jung Taekwoon has always been the quiet one, he just mostly listens, all while offering comfort in the smallest of ways. Silently observing and assessing situations, he’s the all-knowing overseer of the group. He may not have his way of vocalising his thoughts, but he knows.)

His pale hand makes its way to Hakyeon’s sun-kissed one, and he rubs the spot between his thumb and index finger tenderly. “You’re not okay, aren’t you?”

Hakyeon can only stare at him blankly, choked up with a dizzying array of emotions. The air around them feels heavier, and Taekwoon immediately understands. A silent interaction ensues, but it feels as if within that moment where words aren’t exchanged, many woes have been spilled. The leader looks up at the other boy, and gives a broken smile- a gesture of thanks, an attempt to show that he feels better, but a lie it was.

Hakyeon takes a deep breath, and slowly lets his head settles against Taekwoon’s broad shoulders. He shuts his eyes as he finally acknowledges the weight upon his heart, but there’s one thing he can’t quite put a finger to it- he isn’t bothered, for now at least.

His mind can only take in the slight wrinkle of the fabric of Taekwoon’s top against his cheek, the faint smell of softener and how sturdy Taekwoon is, holding him in this moment.

He only can focus on Jung Taekwoon.

Hakyeon feels Taekwoon pulling him in closer, putting his arm over the dancer’s lithe frame. The former huddles closer, body warmth enveloping him. He has never felt so at home before, falling into a peaceful slumber with his hair tickling Taekwoon’s neck, soft snores filling the silence.

Before the world turns to black, Hakyeon prays that this will last forever.

-

It almost becomes a daily routine.

Taekwoon waits for Hakyeon to come back home everyday, provided he has no conflicting schedule. He’s mostly silent, but the older takes in his presence like how he needs air to breathe.

Their time together is almost mundane, but it’s all that Hakyeon looks forward to everyday.

He would sit beside Taekwoon, and lean against him with no words spoken. His heavy heart will be left at the younger’s feet, and he just takes in him, seeking refuge. A melody is hummed in the background, and the exhausted boy will feel the assuring vibration that comes from Taekwoon’s chest. The wilted flowers within him are finding life again, his defeated soul finding renewed strength. This is the embrace that Hakyeon always finds himself running back to makes him feel so whole again; it’s almost as if Taekwoon is holding the broken pieces of him together.

He should really ask Taekwoon what is all this to him, though.

-

Hakyeon finally reaches his breaking point, and he cries.

He bawls just like a child throwing a tantrum, rubbing furiously at his eyes while incoherently shouting. His heart is already bursting at the seams, but there is no end to the load, with responsibilities and work piling on his shoulders. He curls himself up against the wall, tugging away at his hair. “Why am I like this? God I- Why?”

Gentle hands slowly pry away his grip on his hair, and soon they were interlaced together. “Don’t do that,” Taekwoon reprimands softly. Creases on his forehead appear as he tries to get the olive-skinned boy to relax, wishing that he can just melt his sadness and pain away. He feels helpless as he can only card his thin fingers through Hakyeon’s hair while whispering into the crown of his head that everything will be okay.

A few hiccups later, Hakyeon asks shyly if Taekwoon can sleep beside him, and the latter is more than happy to do so. He pulls away and guides Hakyeon, leaning back into the sheets slowly. He tucks Hakyeon in before he gets comfortable, and then pats at Hakyeon’s shoulder.

They stare at each other for a moment before an embarrassed Hakyeon places his head in the crook of Taekwoon’s neck, almost trying to bury his face into the boy. The comforting hand is still there, firm and reassuring, and it’s almost as if Hakyeon has found home in Taekwoon’s arms. He’s not sure if the warmth enveloping him is from the blanket or Jung Taekwoon. A shaky breath rumbles through the crying boy’s chest, spent from his breakdown. This is when Taekwoon finally, finally asks what’s wrong.

“I wish I knew too,” A choked sob comes out, voice raw with pain. The question has been thrown, but now Hakyeon doesn’t even know what’s bothering him like this- it sucks, it really does. To have so many things to want to complain about, but yet unable to convey his heavy heart; something is obviously eating away at him, but he can’t even figure it out to fix this mess.

The slow pats turn into a grip, and Taekwoon holds him a little tighter, a little closer, and takes him a little deeper, “It’s okay to be lost, to be sad and to.. grieve.”

Taekwoon knows, and understands him perfectly.

Hakyeon’s head is numb, but pain courses through his body. He simply can’t think anymore, he doesn’t know how - or what - to feel. Darkness cradles him, a grim reminder of his pain and suffering - however, he takes in the sense of touch and believes that what’s holding him isn’t darkness anymore, but rather Jung Taekwoon. His hand reaches out for Taekwoon’s slender fingers, and he intertwines them together. Through his glossy eyes, he peeps at the silver of moonlight that leaks into the room, and he brings it up together to take in the sight of company- their locked hands.

“No matter how dark,” Taekwoon murmurs into his hair, pressing a soft kiss onto it, “Light will always find a way to bleed in.”

The stench of solitude dissipates slowly.

-

VIXX LR has a schedule in Japan, and Hakyeon sighs into the camera.

The silence is a tad awkward, with him having to face a blurred Taekwoon through his phone screen. Hakyeon is expecting a touch on his head, neck, or shoulder, but he’s only able to drink in the sight of the younger boy.

Even if Taekwoon comes back later than Hakyeon, the former sneaks into his room without fail all the time, and there were never nights where Hakyeon has to miss his presence. Despite jam-packed schedules, Taekwoon will crawl into bed with him even if it’s just for an hour. It’s has been unclear on what is between them, and even the members have started to tease them about it. Hakyeon thinks the answer is becoming more obvious, due to them being separated by the ocean; his heart is no longer aching from loneliness, but rather, over the fact that Jung Taekwoon isn’t home with him.

“Taekwoon?”

He immediately puts down his chopsticks, and stares into the camera while smiling at Hakyeon. Even at the age of 28, the boy is unbelievably cute, hamster cheeks and all. The way he scrunches his nose when his name was called out, and how his mouth breaks out in a huge grin, laugh lines prominent- Hakyeon swears his heart has just skipped a beat.

Giddying as it is, he has to drop the bomb, “What does this mean to you?”

There is a shift in Taekwoon’s eyes, and he pouts a little. He seems to be thinking, but Hakyeon can’t quite read his expression. The feeling of disappointment is creeping into his skin, but he tries to push it aside, tries to trust Taekwoon on this.

“This…” He replies carefully, as if threading on thin ice. He pauses for a bit before gathering his words again not seeming to know how to react appropriately.

Hakyeon feels a twitch somewhere in his body, a jolt of anxiety electrifying him. He peels at his nails, trepidation crawling up his neck as he tries to reason with the irrational, because it feels all too familiar. He expects something: a blow, a departure, but just not assurance.

“It means I love you.”

Hakyeon’s heart skips another beat, and he feels his blood rushing to his head. He stares blankly as Taekwoon’s melodic laugh comes out from his speaker. Hakyeon barely manages to collect his jaw from the floor when Taekwoon reaffirms that he loves him.

“Hyung. I’m in love with you.”

-

He waits nervously, pacing about the dormitory. Taekwoon and Wonshik is departing for korea in the afternoon later, and sleep was impossible through the whole night. Hakyeon’s mind is a blur, not knowing how should he face Taekwoon.

Their skype call ended abruptly due to a scheduling conflict in Japan, just before Hakyeon could gather himself and share his thoughts. The younger has been busy filming and have not got back to him in the last few hours ever since the confession. He fiddles around with his own fingers, uneven nails lightly scratching at his skin. Panic takes over him, the uncertainty of what lies ahead of him - them - is killing him.

Cha Hakyeon is head over heels.

If he has got something out of the past few relationships he had, it’s that love doesn’t exist; he never believed that love will find its way to him and that he never will be able to find the love he’s been looking for- Hakyeon has a bad habit where he finds love in the wrong places.

(The question now is, is Jung Taekwoon the right place?)

His phone screen lights up, and he almost trips while making a mad dash for the device. It’s from a certain taekwoonie, and it only reads, “Wait for  
me.”

-

Hakyeon is positively sure his heart is in his mouth (and on his sleeve) when he finds himself enveloped in Taekwoon’s arms. Wonshik awkwardly coughs, and decides to quietly bring in their luggages. He pats Hakyeon’s shoulder though, before walking off to his room.

“I missed you,” Taekwoon whispers and Hakyeon swears he can’t feel his legs, certain that he has melted into a puddle at the sound of his voice. “A lot.”

Hakyeon clings onto him - arms around the taller’s waist and his face resting against the crook of his neck - and inhales the comforting scent of softener, faint cologne and Jung Taekwoon. “Me too.”

Taekwoon releases his hold, and Hakyeon might have just whined, catching the younger off guard. The older’s arms are still around his waist, and he can’t help but coo at the sight. He would have given in to Hakyeon if it weren’t for Wonshik peeking at the both of them, and he sighs.

“We should go to my room.”

He feels a blow of breath against his chest as Hakyeon grunts into his sweater before letting go. A smile creeps onto his face, happy to be seeing Hakyeon pouring his affections. Extending his hand as an invitation, he interlaces their fingers together as he guides Hakyeon to his room.

(Taekwoon gives Wonshik a death glare before he closes the door.)

-

“Take a seat,” Taekwoon says as he closes the door behind them. A sigh escapes from his mouth, relieved by the privacy his room is providing.

Hakyeon walks around cautiously, as if afraid that he may break something. He takes in his surroundings, somehow amazed by the simplicity. It’s not the first time that he’s in Taekwoon’s room, but the fact that his heart is beating quickly from the sheer nervousness he’s experiencing makes him feel that he just crossed over from familiarity into a foreign place.

Taekwoon’s room is tidy, with traces of his absence for the past week. There’s a framed family photo on his desk, and musical sheets neatly stacked at one side. His luggage is parked at a corner, and he dumps the scarf and coat that he was wearing on top of it. Dimly lit by a lamp, he feels cozy already.

The bed dips slightly as Hakyeon settles down on the white sheets. All he can notice is Jung Taekwoon, and how he’s imprinted everywhere- it is indeed his room. It’s welcoming, and warmth blooms across Hakyeon’s chest as he feels at home.

Taekwoon follows suit, sitting beside Hakyeon and grabs his hand again. “I’m glad you trusted me,” He smiles, playing with Hakyeon’s fingers. He feels the uneven and sharp edges of nails against his fingertips, caressing it lightly as if to smooth it out. “And I’m sorry that I had to leave all of a sudden last night.”

There’s a small hum, and Taekwoon turns his head, so that he’s facing Hakyeon.

Hakyeon looks too serene for how he’s feeling- butterflies are fluttering in his stomach, the prominent thumping against his ribcage and the sweat trickling down his back. Taekwoon knows anyway, he always knows.

For Hakyeon, he always doesn’t know, but this time he finally knows.

Making a bold move, Hakyeon presses his forehead against Taekwoon’s, their faces in close proximity. Hot breaths can be felt against each other’s nose and lips, and Hakyeon already feels intoxicated. A giddiness takes over him, and his heart bursts against his chest as he fights with himself about what to do next. Taekwoon seems to be anticipating, with a slight swipe of his tongue over his lips. In the midst of their fixated gaze and focused sensation towards the heat between them, the room is silent until Taekwoon hears a small sound that’s coming from a gulp, and that’s when Hakyeon finally breathes out, “I love you too, Jung Taekwoon.”

Taekwoon smiles, and Hakyeon swears it’s the most beautiful moment in his life. The way his eyes have that sparkle along with the crinkles that come with it, his nose getting so scrunched up with those killer cheekbones of his- Hakyeon will never be sick of admiring this sight and he takes it all in but this, this has become something special as he feels the press of Taekwoon’s lips against his. He closes his eyes and basks in this moment, trying to memorise and take note of every detail. The way Taekwoon kisses so gently, how his lips feel so plump against his own and the slight tongue against his.

They pull away, and Taekwoon cups Hakyeon’s face endearingly. He repeats phrases of love like a mantra as he kisses Hakyeon. A peck to the nose, and that’s ‘I’m glad to have you’. A smooch to his lips, and it’s ‘you’re so beautiful’. A chaste kiss to his temple and forehead, accompanied by ‘I love you’.

Hakyeon’s cheeks are tinged pink, as he smiles shyly in response to the kisses and the affectionate words. He tries to bury his face in Taekwoon’s chest in embarrassment (a habit that has formed, but neither of them are complaining) as soon as they pull away, but he draws hearts with his finger on the sturdy and broad chest that he’s leaning on. Taekwoon hums in response, fingers languidly playing with Hakyeon’s hair.

He then proceeds to trace the highlighted areas of Taekwoon’s face, courtesy of the lamp accentuating his facial features. Hakyeon thumbs the younger’s eyebrows softly, and then lets his finger follow the shape of his nose. He strokes Taekwoon’s jawline, placing a kiss as he does so. The light seems to be bringing Taekwoon out to him, and he relinquishes in this fact.

“I think.. We were made for loving each other.”

Taekwoon smiles in reply, and Hakyeon has never seen something brighter than that.

 

 

fin.

**Author's Note:**

> I may do a taekwoon-centric sequel. may.
> 
> lj: vixxeu  
> twt: @knetizens


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